Heartbreak

In which Our Protagonist has his heart torn out

October 26, 2006. Thursday.

She doesn't want to see you anymore. She isn't going to let you hurt her again. For that matter, she isn't going to let herself hurt you again. Not counting this one last time, of course, which hurts a helluva lot.

You remember the day you met her... she was like a beacon of light amidst complete and utter darkness. Your eyes met hers, and it was what the Italians call il colpo di fulmine: the thunderbolt. From that moment you were hooked.

She's special; she's not anything like the other girls. She is as pure as falling snow; her beauty is angelic, and she is intelligent too. She possesses the endearing innocence of a child; she is like a breath of fresh air, a springtime rose.

She is the sweetest girl you have ever met.

And she cares about you. That's right: the sweetest girl in the universe cares deeply about YOU. That idea keeps you afloat amidst the bland chaos of everyday life.

You date for a while; you have a great time. You think she might be THE ONE.

But you hurt her. You never wanted to, you never meant to, but somehow you did. What's more, she has been hurting you too.

She knows, she thinks she knows, that it would never work out between the two of you. Her heart wants to be with you, but her mind keeps telling her that she shouldn't.

You tell her you love her and you say goodbye. She is the second girl you've ever told this to. Well, maybe third, counting that one time on ecstasy, but you meant that in a more platonic way. She is the second girl you've ever truly loved.

She is saying something too; maybe it's "Wait!" Perhaps it's "Baby!" You don't wait for her to finish. You've hung up.

And you feel like a complete fool for letting yourself fall in love again.