Son of Random and Largely Unrelated Thoughts for the Day

12.03.08

Typing in all caps is like publicly admitting that you are an idiot.

Jason Mraz is quite possibly the biggest douchebag ever to make a record. He is to music what Shia LeBeouf is to acting, which is to say an embarrassment.

Poor little rich American man doesn’t want to pay his taxes to keep his country running. Boo hoo.

I wonder if Obama is going to bump Parliament’s “Chocolate City” on the day he moves into the White House. If he did that, I would be pretty impressed.

Track 4 off of “The Chronic” would also be a rather brilliant inauguration selection. I really do love that song. Especially when I’m high as a giraffe’s ass.

IFC, formerly my favorite commercial-free channel, now has commercials. Enzyte commercials, no less. Truly, the world is going to hell in a handbasket.

I have far too many Facebook friends in common with my devious ex-girlfriend.

Why is the Obama campaign still asking me for money even though Barack already won?

If I see another movie in which imbecilic white suburban teens immerse themselves in hip hop culture, pretend to be black and illiterate, and ultimately watch their lives unravel amidst a maelstrom of drugs, violence, and “a plan gone wrong,” I think I am going to beat my head against a wall.

It’s always a bit awkward when you look through the photos of a girl you used to hook up with and only seem to uncover countless shots of her drunkenly jocking a plethora of random dudes.

Though I was initially skeptical of Barack's appointment of Hillary as Secretary of State, it is now clear that this was a wise and powerful move on his part.

Does anyone know someone who works for Esquire? They need to hire me.

Girls are kind of stupid sometimes about what photos they look good in. They’ll untag photos where they look very pretty, but aren’t doing the typical “smile for the camera” routine. And yet they’ll leave the tag up on the next photo, where they’re smiling for the camera, and yet look far less beautiful than they did in the last shot.

Speaking of girls, are there any classy, chaste, and non-shallow women left in Los Angeles?

My new sheets are pretty money.

We are all cogs in a machine that isn't operating with our best interests in mind. We are shackled by the unholy alliance of private corporations and "public" government, both of which extort as much money as they can from us on a monthly basis while giving us the bare minimum in return.

I have now resolved never to work for a business that would require me to shave my beard. Take that, Enterprise Rent-a-Car.

If given the option, I prefer to poop in the nude. With a shower nearby.

I am, at present, looking for a portal to the Otherworld.

I really do wish it would rain some more.